I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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