FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize