Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
