Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
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