True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
