Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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