I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize