I hate your face
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
