i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
