perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
