Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
