I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
