I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
