It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
