I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize