SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
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