we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I would ride that face into the sunset
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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