That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize