We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I came so hard my ears popped.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
