i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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