Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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