ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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