ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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