Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Enjoy the penises
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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