I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
