What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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