Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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