we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
