I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
