yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
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