he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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