I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
