He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
