We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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