so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
