I faked an abortion last night.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
