All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
