Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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