Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
How does it feel to date your dad?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
