Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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