i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize