Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
