never play flip cup with pint glasses
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
