either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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