We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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