I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
