Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
