wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
