Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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