only if we run a train.
done.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
