Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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