so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
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