Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
