I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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