she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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