Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
