I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
