Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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