You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
