i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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