This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
