worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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