my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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