Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I deserve this hangover.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
