I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
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