sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
