We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize